Sadly I had left this blog for over a a year as day and life became busy and complicated....oh what changes a year can bring. It's actually pretty interesting to read the blog posts from over a year ago. Wow, I envy the happiness I felt back then. That last sentence is a good preface for the reason I'm picking this blog back up - a place to cry, lament, pontificate, etc.
"A" and I broke up about a month ago. Actually, 12 hours short of 4 weeks ago. Sigh. I guess I am dealing ok. At present, I am returning to Seattle from a much needed sabbatical in one of the other 49 states which shall remain undisclosed. The trip was good, and by good, I mean good for me. What is it about getting at least a thousand miles away from your problem that seems to provide some objective insight?
I'm tempted to try and write a brief synopsis of the past year's relationship, but in contemplating how I would summarize it, I'm overcome with sadness because, well, it is very sad. Simply, for one reason or another, I became more determined to make the relationship work while he became more determined to sabotage it. I would tell myself that he did this because his fear of getting close to someone, I needed to show him what it was like to have someone really love him, etc. And you know, I'm sure I was majorly correct in those assertions. But on the other hand, he worked very hard at betraying my trust, which went on callously for the better part of the last 10 months. And I also know in my heart that he loved me. Or still loves me.
No comments:
Post a Comment