This week the news broke that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are divorcing due in large part to her discovery of his "sexting." Hey! I'm not alone! A slew of articles soon thereafter followed discussing the impact email, texts, chat, and social websites like Facebook have had on relationships, and more specifically, the modern ways to "cheat" and betray your commitment to someone else. Duh. No new insight there. Anyone born in the seventies or later could tell you that the influx of tech networking provides a litany of new channels to abuse. The whole point of texting, email, Facebook, etc., is to facilitate communication, making it easier and more convenient to access more people. Well.....it's a natural progression that this also makes it easier and more convenient to communicate and "flirt" with more people. (Note that defining the ambiguous term "flirting" shall be discussed in a later post - trying not to muddy the waters too much here.)
But back to the whole point of this post. Flip the tables, and use this blessed technology war to your advantage. I'll admit that I don't think the pros outweigh the cons when it comes to using tech to deal with the problems that tech created (in the context of relationships.) The first thing that comes to mind is some sort of super spy snooping software....but sadly that isn't really a solution at all. Aside from the (il)legal implications, who wants to get to the point that the trust is so breached that you feel you have to resort to some sort of super spy snooping software? Speaking from personal experience, if you ask to see it all and get some push back, well....where there's smoke, there's fire...sometimes an inferno. No, dear friends, this post is for the guy/gal who was already betrayed, heartbroken, or simply trying to shake an unworkable relationship - using the miracle of modern tech to make the transition from "we" to "me" easier.
1. God Bless Texting. One of the hardest things to deal with after a breakup is the void - the void of the person in your life. So, fill that void with volume! I have reconnected and newly connected with SO many people. I feel like I'm ALWAYS texting loads of people at any given time. Same with Facebook. How can you feel lonely when you have so many people you're in contact with?!?!
2. Facebook Your Social Calendar. As women, it's no secret that we end up spending a lot of our time with our mate's mates. We have a tendency to mold to his life like memory foam. So, now that we are unmolding, filling that social calendar, especially on the weekends, can be a little daunting. Welcome Facebook events and friends' events. Not only that, you can see what people are up to and usually find another single guy or gal to tag along with. Lonely social calendar s.o.l.v.e.d.
3. Last But Not Least: APPS! Haha. This implies that you have an iPhone, Droid, or some other mini computer that they label "phone." There are a TON of apps that can make your break up go much smoother. Call blocker app. Some phone services let you block certain numbers, and some don't. Or what if you want to get the voicemails, but don't want to know when there's a call? Call blocker app. Afraid of making a drunk dial? There's a drunk dial app that requires you to complete a math problem in order to make the call or send the text. If you can't add numbers, you can't dial numbers. One of my favorite apps I've been relying on every night is the whitenoise app. Oh, how I love it! It drowns out the anxiety-inducing ticker tape of constant thoughts that can keep you up for hours. Now, I fall asleep to a 30 minute timer of peaceful rain rather than over analyzing the unanalyzable.
So, in conclusion, I'm a firm firm believer in positive attitude and outlook. Find the silver lining in everything! If there's a pitfall for tech on relationships, there's a peak for tech on breakups. :-)
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